As time has progressed, many aspects of our cultures, habits, understandings, and traditions has changed. Out with the old and in with the new. This has formed a new and modern culture, which we have yet to seen the effects of because of just that, it's new. We can see how older culture affected us more because it has had time to be tested. New culture, from what we have seen, has brought several good and several bad effects about.
A specific topic of the effects of changes in dating. In a more historical context, dating was more structured, but at the same time it was more casual. I know those aren't two words that we normally use together, but let me explain myself. Historically, you could go on dates with multiple people at a time, and it wasn't considered something exclusive. It was something that you could use to get to know more people, yourself, and your interests. You could date without an eye to marrying someone. In contrast, I believe I know one phrase that nearly sums up a modern view on dating, "Don't spend money dating someone else's wife." I first heard this when I returned from Ecuador and I laughed at it. I personally liked going on dates and had no qualms with spending money on dates. I loved the experience of trying new things, and it was even better if I could bring a pretty girl along. Although, I feel like most young men and women would share beliefs in what this phrase describes, or rather, "Don't waste time or dates." I think that it shows a huge difference in the amount of effort we are willing to expend now.
Modern dating is all about putting the least amount of effort you can in, or making it so extravagant that you could only go on a date every so often. The extreme is where the danger lies. Dates are now seen as so extravagant, that it is easier to date someone by hanging out. In fact, it is becoming increasingly popular that some couples try and spend every waking moment with each other, only taking breaks to sleep. A reason why this may be popular is because it seems easier than actually trying to take someone out on dates. This, however, is dangerous because it has so little structure, and truly limits the capacity of how well you can get to know someone. Crucial dates with trust building activities turn into, "Let's just watch a movie" or "I'm going to work on homework while you..." It is no longer seen as a special time to bond and learn about one another.
So, how can we change this? I think the most important thing to realize is that dating can be casual, fun, planned or spontaneous, and structured. Something that I have done with my wife, to help us have dating ideas, was to buy a book of dating ideas. I know, it sounds a little dumb, because you could just search up date ideas on the internet. We end up choosing a random date idea from the book, and commit ourselves to do it, even if it sounds like something that we might not be the most interested in. This has been a way that we can do something creative and new; It has helped us to further getting to know more about ourselves as a couple and as individuals. Now I know everyone isn't married, or even consistently dating a single person, but I still think this principle applies to everyone: don't be afraid to try new things. Make dating easy, and not feel like a huge commitment or obligation, but rather a way to experience something new with a special person.
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